I love YouTube! If I need to learn something, wether it is building a house or handling Scribus, YouTube is the place to go to find tutorials. So I’d thought I’d put together some videos on my own, an author’s vlog for exemple. It looks so easy. What could possibly go wrong?.


Stage fright.


That‘s what can go wrong. I had no idea it was so bad. The fact I decided to speak english makes it worse. English is not my native language and working in silence for months has taken its toll on my face muscles. The first vlog is a disaster with a woman speaking as if she has stuffed her mouth with cotton. Add my inner perfectionist, a tyrant used to me being an expert, who screams when I start something new and am tossed back to be a newbe. It’s not like that makes my stage fright better.


You may ask why I keep working on this? Why not abandon YouTube and move on to other social media platforms? I ask myself the same questions. There are a lot of good reasons why an author should press on using vidcasts, and none of them is the reason I persist. This has become personal; &%¤#”%& if I’m going to give in to stage fright! (Truth be told I’m a bit surprised by this.)


The sensible reason is called public speaking. It’s a good source of income for authors. Most often it’s classroom speaking and public readings in connection to a book release. I hope authors connected to big publishing houses get a free pass if they are terribly shy, but that’s not a given. Anyway, I’m an indieauthor and have to be able to take the chances I get. By practicing on the vlog I hope to get the tools to handle stage fright.


So I press on. I sing every day to exercise vocal cords and face muscles. I read my script aloud again and again to get the text right (forget improvisation). The vlog for next week will probably be online some time this year…